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I am definitely one of those people who have seen a movie about singles and agreed with scene after scene. I’m a single woman, and it’s true that I’m living a life gifted to me by my Lord. I have a loving extended family, incredible friends, and opportunities to come and go as I please.  This feeling constantly drives me to seek answers from God, and the answer I consistently get from friends and family alike is: “Trust in him for he is faithful”. I am good at the trusting part. It’s the patience part that I don’t do so well.We have all heard our single friends lament away.” Why am I still single?’ When will I find the one?” One of my favorite scenes on television was of Charlotte in Sex in the City explaining quite nicely, “I’m done dating. I’ve kissed enough frogs. Where is he?”   I don’t want another Savior or father or someone to give me instructions. I often supply my friends with the flippant response that I am not interested in raising anyone’s son but mine. I am pretty independent to quote Neyo.  I simply want to go home each evening to someone who believes in me and encourages me, and wants nothing more than to help me build the kingdom of God in our own small way. Period. I know that sounds pretty minuscule but you would be amazed at the responses and people you meet along your single journey.

My singleness allows me to lean only on God for complete assurance. I’ve learned from him to see the battle more clearly, and he’s teaching me how to fight the Evil One who tempts me to go off my chosen path as a woman of faith.  As I was commuting the other day I heard an interesting conversation. Two young women were discussing a friend of theirs issue. I chuckled as I heard the young woman repeat my words. “If you allow craziness into your world you are completely responsible.” That very easily describes a few of my friends’ relationships. They have allowed themselves to be nothing more than servants and not partners. Patty Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker said it best you need to see what you can bring to the table. It is not always about what they can bring. I have learned quite easily that game playing and wasting my time is an absolute negative. You must know what your deal breakers are. You must also acknowledge realistically what you want.

Every once in a while a man comes along who sparks my interest, and vice versa. Then, a funny thing happens; he finds out that I am quite interestingly enough the most opinionated person he has ever met. That can be both a good thing and a bad thing.  I have an opinion on everything. Obviously, you noticed that if you are reading my blog. It’s then that I truly assess in my heart if this person is for me or not. You should build a key core of friends. Most importantly you need to have interests. I have a strong prayer partner who happens to be married and she is willing to call me out when I am straying.  The key to all of this is that no matter what stage of life you are in the key is to be who you are. That’s my key. I am happy with myself. I handle my life in a responsible mature way. You need to be happy  and ready in order to build a relationship.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

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