This is the third article in a series about adultery.
Ok…what day is it? Friday Night…It’s time to partay…What time is it? Friday Night…It’s time to partay… Ok now you realize that I am singing this crazy song in my head. It might have no rhythm that you know but I am very excited that it is Friday!!! Another Friday, another week has gone by. And guess what? This was a great week. So, now it’s time to partay!
How do you party? Some people party one day a week. Others party several days a week. And, then there are some who party 7 days 24 hours a day. Whew! I don’t know how they do it. But, they do.
All of us at times have been the life of the party. We are so busy that we don’t know if we are coming or going. We are caught asking ourselves did I buy the bread that we need. I remember going to the store. But, did I buy everything on my list. Then we remember, oh wait a minute. I went to the store last week when we were out of milk but not this week when we need bread. So, off we go to the store to get bread. Then our cell phone rings to remind us that we have choir rehearsal tonight. Now, don’t forget that ministry leaders’ meeting is tomorrow. And, when we put all of that on our calendar, we see that usher board meeting is three days away. With all of that going on, how do we connect with our spouses? Let alone how do we connect with God?
Well, we don’t really. When we are so busy that we forget whether or not we picked up a loaf of bread, we are too busy to spend intimate time with God or our spouses. And, when we are too busy to spend intimate time with God or our spouses, we are committing adultery. Yep, you got that right adultery. As you know, adultery is committed when anything keeps you from fulfilling God’s purpose for marriage.
It’s all well and good to serve God in the church. But, if you are not first serving God by serving your spouse, you are out of order – you are committing adultery. In Ephesians 5:22 – 33, God outlines the way a husband and wife are to serve God by serving our spouses. God does not tell us in His word to forget about our spouses and lay them aside for worldly riches. In fact, in Matthew 6:24, God tells us that “no one can serve two masters. The person will hate one master and love the other, or will follow one master and refuse to follow the other. You cannot serve both God and worldly riches.”
God wants us to spend intimate time with our spouses. This is how we continue to learn, grow in, and cultivate our relationship. Our marriages are like gardens that need weeding, watering, fertilizing, and care. We are responsible for participating in the care of our marriages. God will ensure that we have all we need to ensure a Godly marriage.
What about those people who aren’t too busy? The ones who don’t really fill up their plates with stuff, what about them? Or, maybe they are busy but they are busy to hide from the responsibilities of marriage. Yes. There are some of us who don’t want to participate in our marriages. We don’t care if our spouse rises in the early morn or come home in the evening. We are just apathetic spouses. In the Merriam Webster dictionary, apathetic means to be having or showing little or no feeling or emotion, basically spiritless. A second definition is having little or no interest or concern or being indifferent. Being apathetic in your marriage means you have no passion.
Wow, having no passion. Why would one move away from passion? God created marriage to share in His gift of the rich emotion of passion. A marriage must have a little passion to survive. Passion is to have a deep interest or desire for something. Passion is what gets us tumbling around on the bed with our spouse. Passion is what keeps us up at all hours of the day and night enjoying our spouse. Passion is the intense feeling we get when we see our spouse coming through the door. Passion is the sexual desire that we have for our spouse. God did not create marriage to have no passion.
So, how does one conquer being an adulterer by busyness and spiritless in a marriage? If you are too busy to enjoy your marriage, you must first hand over your schedule to God and take back only those things that God give you. And, the first thing He will give you is your spouse. So, make your spouse a priority and get back to basics (more on that in a moment).
And, if you are that person who is apathetic, get back to basics by remembering the reason you fell head over heels in love with your spouse. Stay there. Mediate on the person who caught your eye and heart. Spend a long time right there. Then, while you have that goofy in love grin on your face remember time changes over time. Tomorrow will not be the same as today. So, step back into your marriage with yesterday’s beautiful memories on the tip of your spirit.
When you begin to commit adultery again with busyness and apathy, repeat the back to basics philosophy again. Don’t be afraid when you end up in adultery. Everyone does but God always gives us a way out – back to basics.
Now, with all of this back to basics talk, I am starting to remember. So, I must surely go and find my spouse and expound on the back to basics philosophy. Therefore, here I go again and believe me I love to go again into the arms of the man I love. And, you know what? All I can say to that is “THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!”
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