I truly hope Rihanna knows what she’s doing.
Rihanna, a victim of domestic violence, is back with Chris Brown three years after Brown was arrested for assaulting her. Brown, 23, still has two years of probation to serve for his felony assault conviction.
In case you forgot the dramatic story line, here’s what happened in 2009: After Brown punched Rihanna, he put her in a headlock so tight that she couldn’t breathe and started to lose consciousness. He then threatened to kill her and he bit her ear and her fingers.
“He beat me up,” Rihanna told police.
And today, Brown is back in Rihanna’s life for better or worse.
“For a long time he was really angry, and he felt like he couldn’t get away from it, no matter what he did,” Rihanna said about Brown in a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine.
“But there’s so many reasons why I ever reconsidered having him in my life,” she said. “He’s not the monster everybody thinks. He’s a good person. He has a fantastic heart. He’s giving and loving. And he’s fun to be around. That’s what I love about him – he always makes me laugh. All I want to do is laugh, really – and I do that with him.”
Maybe Brown isn’t a monster. But a changed man? Brown’s actions suggest that he’s still the same old Chris Brown.
Just last week, Brown was involved in another violent brawl – this time with singer Frank Ocean. Brown punched Ocean during a fight in a Los Angeles parking lot. The reason: an argument over a parking space.
Brown has serious anger management issues. And my problem with Brown is that he takes his rage out on people — and women.
As a father of a young daughter, I question Rihanna’s judgment in reuniting with Brown who prefers to use his fists to manage his problems instead of walking away from trouble.
Brown is still immature, violent and irrational. He hasn’t learned how to control his temper and that makes for a volatile relationship.
“Of course everybody has their opinion about him, because of what he’s done,” Rihanna said. “That will always be there. But he made a mistake, and he’s paid his dues. He’s paid so much. And I know that’s not a place he would ever want to go back to. And sometimes people need support and encouragement, instead of ridicule and criticism and bashing.”
I think Brown has deep-rooted emotional problems that he has not addressed. As a young man, his mother was a victim of repeated acts of domestic abuse. After Brown’s parents’ divorce, his mother was beaten by her boyfriend.
Consider this statement by Brown:
“[I told my mother,] ‘I just want you to know that I love you, but I’m gonna take a baseball bat one day while you are at work, and I’m gonna kill him,’” Brown told Giant magazine in 2007. “He used to hit my mom … He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, I’m just gonna go crazy on him one day.”
I understand the anger Brown must have felt, but I believe Brown is still a work in progress and his violent tendencies stem from his violent upbringing.
Can Brown change his hot-tempered ways? Perhaps – but he hasn’t changed yet.
“Listen, I’ll tell you right now: I don’t have to take it,” Rihanna told Rolling Stone. “If he gives me that again, here’s what I give him: nothing. I just walk away. He doesn’t have that luxury of (expletive) up again. That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”
Rihanna has made her decision about Brown. I only hope she doesn’t regret it.
COMMENTARY: Rihanna: Chris Brown is Not a Monster. Really? was originally published on blackamericaweb.com