Not long ago, a young single woman wrote to me with a question she would have preferred to ask her father, were he still alive. An Evangelical committed to historic, orthodox Christianity, she wants to be a godly wife and mother. She made a commitment at an early age to remain chaste, and in her dating life thus far, she’s kept her commitment. She regrets none of that. But now she worries about how to have “the talk.”
This woman told me she is now dating a young man, also a Christian, who seems commendable in every way—and her family and friends agree. After a month or so of courtship, she is finding in him what she always prayed for in a husband—faithful discipleship, servant leadership, gospel clarity, and family focus.
She’s falling in love with him, and she’s afraid of only one question: his sexual past.
Has he been with other women sexually? If so, how many and in what way? Has he ever had a problem with pornography?
With every week, she’s becoming more and more attached to this man, and she’s afraid of discovering something potentially problematic after she’s already lost her affections to him.
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