For a balanced person in a healthy relationship, there are two parts of you that together make the whole.
One is your desire for the sense of intimacy that sharing your life with another brings. The other is your need to stand separate and apart from the other person in the independent side of your nature. Your desire for intimacy is not a curse. Your desire for independence is not a crime. But if either of the two is out of balance, all kinds of problems can and will result.
If nearly everything you value, pursue, or accomplish in your life is connected to, or initiated by your mate, you have surrendered your identity as an individual. And if you are not able to be happy, whole, and content apart from your relationship, eventually your mate will find you to be more of a burden than a blessing.
Because when your love life becomes your whole life, you don’t have enough life of your own to share with anyone else.