Ok fellas. This chapter is for you. (Ladies, please read along). As your sister in Christ, I have taken the awesome task of giving you the official ‘real deal’ as it pertains to your beautiful sisters in Christ. I believe that I have some insightful information to help shape the perspective you should have at this particular season of your life. Until a man and woman are pronounced husband and wife in the covenant of marriage, they are truly brother and sister before the eyes of the God. After accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord you become a child of God, who is your Heavenly Father. Essentially, our behavior toward one another should reflect such a relationship. The Lord has really brought this to light for me in my relationship with my biological brother. We have the same Mother and Father. We are very close in age, and have grown to become very close friends. He is very protective of me in many ways. We hang out together, watch movies, talk on the phone, enjoy one another’s company and confide in one another.
One thing I have noticed, however, is that my brother has never tried to touch me inappropriately. He has never tried to kiss me, mouth to mouth, to convey some amount of passion and affection that he has for me. I have never felt uncomfortable around him, and his body language has never projected inappropriate sexual gestures toward me. Some of you are reading this passage and thinking to yourself, “Of course not Lindsay! He is your brother for God’s sake, why would he? It would be incest. That is so nasty!” Yes, exactly. It would be nasty, and it would be incest. This is my point. I wonder if our Father God must feel the same way when his children are behaving in a similar manner. I notice some brothers attempting to be clever and casually touchy with their sisters, and some sisters trying to flirt and entice their brothers. This does not lead to activities that please God. Trust me. I have been in both positions. I have had a so-called brother in Christ slowly pressure me over time, to do physical things that I never wanted to do, and I have also played the role of the sister who wore the tight jeans or short skirt on purpose to get a certain guy’s attention. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 states,
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality: that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and in honor, not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should defraud his brother in this matter…”
The will of God is our sanctification. The will of God is holiness, the sexual revolution.
Many of us struggle with the reasons of Christian dating behavior, we referred to them in Five Reasons I Hate Dating Christians
When I think of a ‘revolution’, I think about high school history class which introduced me to historical events like the American Revolution and the French Revolution. These were intense battles, where countries fought for the abrupt overthrow of a government or a sudden change in the system that confined them. God has also called us to engage in a revolution for the abrupt overthrow of the world’s view of sexuality. He is calling for a sudden change in the system that you allow to govern your decision-making and interactions with the opposite sex. He is calling you to this sexual revolution, holiness. Holiness leads to the abrupt, sudden overthrow of lust, perversion and ungodly desires. A definition for holiness is, to be dedicated, consecrated, and set-apart to or for sacred use from all unholy or unclean things. Holiness is not your ‘do’, but your ‘who’. It is not in the long skirts, lack of make-up and ‘unpierced’ ears. It is a lifestyle mandatory for those who want God’s best in their lives. You are called to this ‘high way’ or higher way of living.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible explains the root meaning of this word ‘sanctification’ to mean, purification, (the state of) purity, holiness. God’s ultimate goal for our relationships is purity. He loves a pure heart. Pure motives. Pure intentions. If your primary goal in a relationship is to simply have sex with a female, something is wrong with your thinking. If your primary goal as a female is to give a guy an erection or tease him through your enticement, something is wrong with your thinking. We must learn to respect one another.
As a sister to my brothers in the Lord, I have learned “to possess my vessel (body) in sanctification and honor”. I dress tastefully and appropriately. I am trendy with a high-fashion sense, but I never allow the current trends to compromise my integrity before God and my brothers in Christ. I would never want the exposure of my cleavage or upper thigh to cause my brother to stumble, or mislead him in any way. I fully support being a diva, but never at the expense of discounting my witness for the Lord Jesus Christ. My clothing line Worth The Wait LLC, boasts of promoting sexual purity with contemporary style and urban class. I am proud to say that. It is common knowledge that men are stimulated by ‘what they see’ while women are stimulated by ‘touch.’ Therefore gentleman, maybe you should be a bit more conscious about how and where you touch young ladies. Sometimes, holding hands, massaging backs, and innocent hugging can ignite an unintentional flame that can cause a forest fire! Likewise ladies, the mini-skirts, booty-shorts, and low-rise jeans may give your friend the wrong impression. Is it your motive to draw attention to your body? With this in mind, we should protect one another. As a young man, how would you expect another young man to treat your sister or daughter? Well, do likewise to God’s daughters, who are your sisters. That is usually a good standard to keep. Society says, “What goes around comes around”, but the Word says it this way, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (Gal. 6:7 NIV) Are you sowing bad seed, with some of your actions and gestures?
This excerpt has been taken from The Best Sex of My Life: a guide to purity, by Dr. Lindsay Marsh. This book is available for purchase at Dr. Lindsay’s company website: http://www.iamworththewait.com , http://www.amazon.com, http://www.trafford.com or online where good books are sold.