Some people have hidden agendas: Goals that they wish to accomplish at some cost to others. We live in a world that speeds out of control with people who are only concerned with what they need and how to get it. These agendas can quickly become quite obvious. What kinds of hidden agendas can people have?
In scripture we are warned against people
They might want to
- Make themselves feel better by putting other people down.
- Achieve a position of power or prestige at the expense of others.
- Control other people.
- Make other people feel bad about internally.
How can you recognize and deal with hidden agendas?
1- Pay attention-Watch what a person says or does, and see how you feel in response to it. If someone says something that may seem like some kind of compliment, but feels like a put-down, then it could be an action arising out of a hidden agenda.
2- Confront it head on. If you confront that person about it (lovingly, of course), and they deny it or try to explain it away, give them the benefit of the doubt, but keep an eye on them.
3- Identify the behavior- If the same kind of behavior continues, and you confront them again on it and they still deny it or explain it away, but continue acting the same, then the likelihood is high that it is a hidden agenda.
4- Define a result- Decide what you want to do about/with that person. Do you want to keep associating with them? If it is a friend, you can drop the friendship—after all, what kind of friend continually tries to undermine you, control you, or make you feel bad about yourself?
Be aware that it takes time to learn to recognize hidden agendas, and even more time to learn the skills required to deal with people like this. We all are motivated by something. It just depends on how we achieve our end results. We don’t need to destroy others to get where we need to go.