This may sound odd since I am completely and unapologetically heterosexual, but recently I broke up with a girlfriend of mine. It was time. We’ve known each other for more than ten years, and for most of those years the relationship was a little less than substantive – yet there was something about it that kept me hopeful. When life began to shift for me, after I discovered that my then husband was living a double life on the down low, I became the person in need. I began to see the real value in my relationship with my friend. There wasn’t any. It seems as if the moment an opportunity presented itself for me to become the underdog, I got treated accordingly.

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Since traveling on the journey of “Me,” I have learned a lot about what it is that I need and want out of relationships, be they male or female. I have learned that my thoughts play a huge role in how people treat me…for the book I read tells me that, “As a man thinks so is he,” Proverbs 23:7. I have had to reconstruct my thoughts over the past couple of years, having to constantly remind myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that His works are marvelous. I have had to embed into my psyche that I am the head and not the tail and that He (God) paid careful attention to the details of me when he thought about me and subsequently created me. Because of these and other values that I have learned to embrace as truth for my life, I conclude that I am worth having relationships that are meaningful, respectful, and as a friend of mine so eloquently spoke, relationships that add value. If you aren’t adding significance to my life, who are we kidding? The relationship is dead at the core. God tells me that my worth is far above rubies. The last time I checked, rubies aren’t cheap. The richness of their color is tantalizing. That’s me. Those are the relationships that I am looking to establish, those that validate the ruby in me.

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