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This Morning Tiger Woods took to a press conference in which he admitted that not only was he wrong but that he “was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable.”

This admission out loud harkens back to the early days when people would publicly atone for their sins. they would place ashes on their faces and dress in sack cloth. Tiger pointed to the fact that had he not strayed from his spiritual and religious beliefs  and practices he would not be in this situation.  Many people will laugh this off and say that he was just pantomiming what people wanted to hear. There is a part of me that feels that he was being sincere. There is another part of me that knows that he had to address the mess that his public life had become.

We have become a society where whether we are black or white, we are permissive in bad behavior. I understand the argument that if you are young you shouldn’t get married. I can understand the argument that not everyone is ready for marriage.   I disagree that monetary and professional success dictates a “pick and choose” menu of personal behavior. It is the belief that once presented with a smorgasbord you have no ability to control yourself. It has become hallmark that if you are successful, and have money you are entitled to be promiscuous and irresponsible and unfaithful. That’s 100% unacceptable. It’s even more unacceptable for African Americans due to the fact  one check point of purchasing  slaves  was whether or not he could be a “good buck” or a “good breeder”. Should we fall back into that old stereo type that allows for behavior like McNair’s? The horrifying part of his story is that he has a son who is in early adulthood who has now learned first hand how to handle a mistress.  I think we have thoroughly crossed the threshold where over the edge behavior gains you popularity as being a player.  It is now the comparison of who has the better war stories exchanged in the dressing room, locker rooms and bars.

The true lies that are being sown about the institution of marriage have presented insane logic 1- that it’s not work and 2- that it’s cheaper to keep her. We all laugh about it, but it’s no laughing matter anymore.  We are over run with young ladies who do not know who fathered their children and young men who father too many with little claim to responsibility except the ability to say, “That’s my child.” We are all falling victim to this whole idea that life should be “a whole lot of what you want, when you want, how you want. ”

Unfortunately, with athletes the pipe dream that the bigger better woman is on the horizon somewhere is really why they cheat. It’s true in the music business. It’s true in the board room.  They lock down the “right now woman” and then when they get to whatever level is a great level they pick up “the trophy.” She is often the young misguided woman. This behavior trickles down to my ill-informed and groomed sisters who feel that acting less than ladylike is what will get them the attention that they crave.  When they are left alone they are wondering how they got to this point in the road.

{For more from Oretha Winston follow her on Twitter}

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