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Last week I wrote about how men disrespect women, and why we shouldn’t and what we should do, and yada, yada, yada. I got quite a few people who wanted to hear the reverse discussion and put the women on blast. And I’m all for being fair (sometimes) and balanced and looking at both sides of the stories. So…

It’s obvious the type of things that women do when they disrespect their men, so I don’t find it necessary to discuss that. The question then becomes, not what, but why. Why do women do these things? Why doesn’t the woman treat her man with respect in the first place?

The simple answer? She doesn’t like him. A woman will not respect a man she doesn’t like. (I use like instead of love, because you’re going to have to first like the man before you love him.) Her reasoning may seem insignificant to the man (not that she cares), or even to her friends, but that’s irrelevant — if she doesn’t like a man, she will not treat him with respect.

On the most basic level, a woman won’t like a man if she feels cannot protect her.  Protection looks like different things to different women. If she values keeping her bills paid, she will not respect a man that is between jobs (“You broke ____!”). If she looks for physical strength (the most cave-man of reactions), then she won’t like slim or short dudes (“With yo’ little _____!”). If a woman values brains or intelligence, she won’t use a phrase when arguing, she will start to use big words to make you feel stupid (to which the “ignorant” man replies, “Yo, why you gotta start talking like that? I can’t STAND you!”)

Men, I know sometimes we can be hardheaded (self included), so here are some factors to let you know if a girl doesn’t like you (there are obviously more, but let’s get the basics down first):

  • She doesn’t initiate conversation (only returns calls or texts, never sends them).
  • She doesn’t want you to touch her in public. At all.
  • She doesn’t want to kiss you.
  • She never asks you where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing (because she doesn’t care).
  • She doesn’t want to just hang at the crib with you.

If a woman you are dating, or even interested in, acts like this, she ‘s not playing hard to get. She is not ‘hella cool and laid back.” She doesn’t like you. If she doesn’t like you, she won’t respect you. If a woman doesn’t like you, the more you pursue her, the more desperate and unattractive you look. You see, if she did like you, all the stuff you do for her would make her heart melt, but instead, the opposite is true — her heart is getting hard towards you. Now you’re just make matters worse and she likes you less (and thinks you’re dumb for not getting the clues) and thus she’s disrespecting you more and more (often more publicly).

I already know that some will say that this is a cop-out because it really defers all the blame back onto the men and that’s not fair. And that’s true. I, in some ways, did defer the blame back on the men for not understanding that the women didn’t like them. But that’s how these things work — the man is (or should be) in charge of the relationship. And when something goes wrong, who do we blame most often? The one in charge. Sorry guys, that’s just the way it is sometimes.

They’ll say that there are women who are downright just disrespectful for no reason. And I’d say you’re wrong (at least on that count). There is always a reason that women do things. We may not be able to figure it out or comprehend, but that doesn’t stop it from existing.

So gentlemen, if she’s disrespecting you, chance are good, very good, that she’s not doing it for no reason. Think about the things listed above and inspect whether or not she really likes you and then take things from there.

[Written by Stuart McDonald for Elev8.com. For more from Stuart, check out his personal blog, follow him on Twitter, and connect with him on Facebook.]

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