Honor Your Mother – Part of the 4th Commandment – But what does it look like in my life?
On this side of adulthood, honoring my mom is very different from what it looked like when I was a child. Then, I showed my respect primarily through obedience. But since she is no longer my covering, that obedience has been transferred to my husband under the name submission, I must learn to renegotiate the deference she is due. I am an adult by anyone’s standards – married with four chi’ren. I have a vocation as well as an avocation. In other words, I’s grown nah. So what does this mean for Mommy (yes, I still call her that)?
As she is getting on in years, the best way I can honor her is to include her. We no longer share the same home state, so my life and that of my family isn’t as accessible to her as it once was. She’s not a big web person, so Facebook and Twitter are out of the question (although she did recently get an email account – so there’s hope). Now (as always) a simple phone call placed for no particular reason works well – when I find the time. Perhaps, that’s the key – to make time. For so many years, I was a top priority in her life, as my children are in mine and my husband’s. My mother invested much time and incalculable resources into my upbringing, offering me the best she had to offer, encouraging – even daring me to go as far as I could. Now that I no longer need her to parent me, I can make it a priority to befriend her…to make time for her – to call her more regularly than I already do. More importantly, I can train my children to do likewise. Their generation knows even less than mine about honoring their elders. It is incumbent upon me to pass on the Truth I know. On a more embarrassing note, I certainly don’t want my children to learn how to neglect their own mother by watching me do it to mine. So I will honor my mother not only by calling her more often, but also by refusing to groan at the “urgent” news gleaned from the latest episode of Oprah that will surely prompt her next phone call.
God, bless my mother. And by the way, Lord, thank you.