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Do you believe that your church is friendly and welcoming?  If so, what does your church do to ensure that not just visitors and potential new members i.e. new tithers feel welcomed, but what about the current members?

I’m going to be straight forward; I do not particularly enjoy “church superstars”.  How do you know you’re a church superstar or how do you identify what a church superstar looks like?  The reason I ask is this:  Most people I’ve spoken to over the many years I’ve attended church all have the same issue with feeling unwelcome or not well received at church.  They are frustrated with the church not being friendly because of the church superstars.  I’ve decided to compile a list of what a church superstar looks like.  Like to hear it?  Here it goes:

1.    Church superstars usually always make their so-called authority known.  They walk around with an air of superiority and make sure to smile at and hug the pastor and first lady and yet utterly ignore us “regular” saints who tithe consistently and serve quietly, Sunday in and Sunday out.

2.    Church superstars operate in a weird clique.  They constantly reward and give special mention only to other church superstars, i.e. their friends…you know the folks they go to lunch with every Sunday after church.  They also have a very hard time allowing anyone else in to help in a ministry, even when that ministry clearly needs some help.

3.    Church superstars do not want you to talk to anyone but them.  If you have the unmitigated nerve to approach the pastor and mention a problem or an issue they take that personally and will later proceed to treat you like you have the plague or just flat out ignore you.

4.    Church superstars love you like cooked food when you can do something for them, i.e. help them get a job, place to stay or even a ride to and from work, but the moment all of that is taken away due to no fault of your own, they talk about you to other church folks and proceed to pretend they don’t see you when you wave hello to them.

5.    And lastly church superstars are the ones who will read this and feel some sort of way but will not own it and instead will blame the author.

I’m not suggesting that church should be a red carpet experience.  However, I do believe that if we as so called Christians cannot show ourselves friendly to each other, how in the blue blazes are we to reach the so called lost for Christ?  I used to attend an enormous mega church.  Now I attend what I guess can be called a mid-sized church.  The truth is the mega church seemed to be friendlier than the smaller church I currently attend.  The reason I continue to attend the mid-sized church is because I really want to give it a chance and truth be told, the word goes forth and nothing beats that.

I think what really makes me raise an eyebrow is how a couple of friends I invited to visit without telling them how I felt about the lack of friendliness, responded.  One said she felt the word going forth was really powerful however the people seemed “stand offish”.  The other said her young son told her he didn’t enjoy children’s church because the people there were mean to him…and this is after one visit!

I applaud folks who serve and minister on several levels every Sunday.  As a matter of fact, I make it my business to tell ushers, greeters and the like that I appreciate them.  Before you ask, yes I do serve as well.  But there are far too many folks in church period, not just the one I attend, who have made church their personal power tripping grounds.  There are far too many church superstars and not enough sincere servants who would do what they do even if they are not seen or heard.

Lastly, if you are in a position of leadership at your church, make sure to say hello to the “regular saints”.  You never know how it may bless them just for someone they don’t usually hear from to say hi and how are you.  Chile Please!

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The Top Five Things I’d Like The Black Church To Change

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