There are times when I have scratched my head and wondered why things are as they are. I have a friend that I am very close to that is one of the best people I have ever known in my life. He works hard at whatever he does and has always been a go-getter. He used to be a great source of motivation for all those around him. I say “used to be” because now every time I see him it appears as though he has begun to enter a state of depression.
It would appear that everything in his life is the same but there is one variable that has made a difference. He got married a little over a year ago. Despite all the warnings from family and friends, he chose to marry a woman that he had previously broken up with several times. He decided in his mind that things would get better once he got married. No matter how many times his other married friends and I tried to let him know what was up, his take on things was not realistic. He did what he wanted to do. I let him know that I had his back as a friend, because at the end of the day, he was the one that had to live with his decision to marry. Now he is realizing what we had been trying to get him to understand. Every complaint he had about his bride before they got married has only intensified since they got married.
Something my dad always tried to teach me when I was growing up was that life is too short to experience everything yourself so it’s O.K. to learn from another’s experiences and mistakes. Sometimes we as men can get it in our heads that we have all the answers, and we know what is best for our lives. From experience I can tell you this is not usually the reality of things. My friend’s wife is a very confrontational woman who tries real hard to be the man of the house. She has always been that way. My friend knew it when he signed up for the job as her husband.
The other day he called me and said he feels like he would be better off if he went back to being single. Because I know his wife and the spirit of negativity she brings with her at all times, my flesh begged me to tell him it is ok for him to become a single man. However, the man of God in me told him that we all have those thoughts, but we made the commitment before God and we have to see it through. It took some convincing from me for him to come to that end result.
I want to see my friend walk around with his same spirit of joy again. It would be wrong for me to tell him to take the easy way out and walk away from his marriage. That is what a lot of men want their buddies to do. I encourage him as much as I can to fight the good fight for his marriage. Sometimes we have to face the consequences of our choices. When we are stubborn enough to deny the truth, we should be stubborn enough to live with that decision. He will have his peace again when his assignment with his wife is done. I have no idea what happened in her past to make her the woman she is today. I have my own marriage and spouse to consider.
I have this one word of advice to those who are single. When someone with experience in marriage gives you advice from a Godly perspective to help you before you get married, take it.
For those of you who are married and looking for a way out, STOP!!! You made your choice. Figure out a way to make it work. One thing I have learned is this, your next relationship will be messed up too because you are in it. There are some things in a relationship that give you grounds to leave. For all the other things, suck it up and deal with it. I Am Just Trying To Help.
Written By Napoleon for Elev8.com
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