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When single people are talking about what they’re attracted to in a mate, there will, inevitably, be talk of hair. Now, some of you may be “looking at me” thinking, “You mean blonde or brunette?” Not quite. Yes, that’s a conversation too, but I’m referring more specifically to weaves, pieces, wigs, short, long, relaxed, locs, twists, natural, etc. I would say that this conversation would be geared more towards the Black women of the world, but as Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, along with countless other White women have shown us, fake hair is no longer worn exclusively Blacks.

Obviously I can’t speak for other men, so I’ll just speak for myself. What I like is simple: I like whatever works for you. I do have one, just one, caveat — it must look good. I hope you’d want it to look good since it is your hair, but sometimes I see things that make me wonder. I’ll refrain from venturing down that road right now.

So ladies, if you want to rock a weave, you want a short cut, maybe you prefer it relaxed, or like it natural — I don’t care. If it works for you, then it works for me. If you like to weave it in or get extensions, I’m not going to get caught up in wishing you used your own hair; after all, if you pay for it, doesn’t that make it yours? I’m not tripping if you want to shave it off and get it lined up — as long as that looks good on you and you don’t have a lumpy head. You want to get some braids? Do it; I may look at you with the side eye if you’re constantly patting your head when you know you should have gotten something to ease the tension (I’ve heard good things about Doctor Miracle’s Braid Relief). As long as you feel confident with yourself, and look fly, I’m good to go. Do you, Boo.

I know plenty of women who can have a different style every month and they look great with them all. This is more often the exception and not the rule. Most women look good in a few styles; it’s just too bad they don’t know that. Ladies, it’s important to find what works for you, whether it’s eight looks or two, and rock those. Be adventurous from time to time — no harm in that — but understand what works best for your face and body.

However, should you choose to wear hair that is not your own, I would prefer to not be able to immediately spot the fakeness. If I can tell you have a weave, that’s bad. If I can tell you’re sporting a lace-front, that’s not good. If I spot a track, or some string, that’s forgivable; things happen, but it shouldn’t be an everyday occurrence. Now, I’m not a hair connoisseur, so it takes a good bit of “exposure” for me to something “out of place,” but I do have the advantage of being taller than most of the women I know. Believe that I look at the top of your head when I walk behind you (or even next to you), Hey, I’m just being honest.

At the end of the day, ladies, I’m more in love with you than your hair. In my being in love with you, I just want you to look your best, and I hope you would want that for yourself. Oh, and please don’t go broke trying to compete.

[Written by Stuart McDonald for Elev8.com. For more from Stuart, check out his personal blog and follow him on Twitter]

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