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“Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.” –  Psalm 33:3

It’s me again everybody!  I have to say that I’ve been enjoying doing these blogs.  I’m pretty new to the entire blogging thing and I really appreciate the folks who have reached out to me on Facebook and here on Elev8.com to say that you enjoy my writing.

Okay now that I’ve got the pleasantries out of the way, let’s talk about something that’s a tad bit sensitive but I believe really needs to be addressed.  Growing up in church, my favorite time would be when the choir would minister.  Anyone who was leading the choir back then and had a name like Beulah, Bertha, Hattie Q or Jimmy Ray, you knew right away the roof was about to be blown off of that church.

I have issue now when folks get up with the choir and they flat out can’t sang.  And I always say sang instead of sing because there is a difference.  People who sing are people who can simply hold a note and stay on beat.  But folks who can sang, are folks who can do some cartwheels and jump out of the pulpit and not miss one beat!  So what’s my beef?  I’ll tell you.  My beef is with those of you who ain’t got no business up there singing when you sound like Scooby Do!  CHILE PLEASE!

Friends don’t let friends believe they’re good at something when they absolutely stink.  And it’s always the same person up there trying to convince us that they’re good at it when they’re not.  They look at the musicians as if it’s their fault they’re off key and out of tune.  Stop it!  The church needs all kinds of servants.  I’m sure the usher board can use some more air traffic controllers.  I’m sure the building fund committee can use some chicken dinners.  There’s a place for everyone.

What makes matters worse is that us church folks will stand up and sway and clap.  Don’t you know when you do that you’re giving them false hope?  That ain’t right!  I was a producer on season one of American Idol.  It was the most brutally honest show I’ve ever worked on.  Two words:  Simon Cowell.  Trust me people it wasn’t a gimmick nor an act.  Simon was downright offended when people came into the audition room and would open their mouths to sing and couldn’t carry a tune.

I know my place.  I will sing along with the congregation.  I will not dare to get on a microphone and call myself bringing down the house when I sound like warmed up sin.  I have a friend who was always telling me that he sings and can blow.  He and I attended the same church.  One Sunday this friend was leading a song.  Mind you, this was a mega church we attended at the time.  Brother man got up there and sounded a hot mess.  The entire time he sang through his nose.  I kept sneaking a glimpse at his wife to see if she would clap or stand up and encourage him or something.  Nothing.  As a matter of fact the entire church was crickets!  I couldn’t look him in the eye after that.  And to make it worse for me, he and I worked together!

Folks, the moral of the story is please find out from someone other than your mama who will always tell you ‘baby that’s nice’…if you can sang or not…And if you really have to ask then there’s your answer…YOU CAN’T!  Chile Please!

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