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“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

Okie Dokie Folks.  I’m gonna jump right into it.  Y’all know that I like to have fun and a good laugh.  Sooooo…I’ve been attending a church that’s somewhat new to me for about a year now.  It’s smaller than the congregation I used to attend.  The choir isn’t as grand.  The ushers don’t do air traffic signals in unison.  The same praise and worship singers sing every single solitary Sunday.  Sunday in and Sunday out.  The services are not so long that you’re so hungry by the time you leave you have an attitude with just about everybody.  We don’t have “special ushers day” or ten different building funds…Okay what was I saying?

Oh yeah…My point is it’s not the biggest and baddest church in all of the land but one thing for sure is the word is taught, preached and we all get a good Shabach in.  I appreciate the way the pastor breaks down the word and sends us all on our way with some study points for the entire week.  But ur ra ta…I have an issue with his blatant horniness in the pulpit.  Chile Please.  Yeah, I said it.

I’m so happy that Pastor loves his wife and wants all of us to know it.  Especially some of the folks who secretly admire the pastor from afar.  Oh, was I not supposed to say that, too?  Chile Please.  But I wish my pastor would not get up in front of the congregation just about every single Sunday and make references to how his wife just gave him a look and he’s in “trouble” when they get home and what he plans to do to her.  My brow instantly furrows at said mention.  I feel some sorta way about him putting that visual in my head after just hearing about how Joshua fought the battle of Jericho.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m no hater.  I’m a congratulator.  Really I am.  But for those of us who are single and some of us are newly single…well we’re trying to stay focused and not think about the “trouble” pastor and his wife are gonna get into when he leaves the pulpit.  And besides, ur ra ta…shouldn’t they be out laying hands on folks or something right after church?  Sometimes I can barely look him in the eye during fellowship. One time he asked me was everything okay.  I almost screamed at him…”No!  Stop telling me about you and your wife and y’all having a Marvin Gaye “Let’s Get It On” moment.  I’m trying to stay holy!”

Like I said, I’m glad the pastor and his wife are enjoying each other…gulp…But it’s the visual man!  And he’s always rubbing on her in front of us.  I feel like a kid who walked in on her parents when she was 7 years old.  Oh Lawd I think I’m gonna need therapy all over again.  Chile Please!

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