It’s normal to want to be accepted by your in-laws. But feeling that you need to be accepted can bring complications, causing you to be uncomfortable and unnatural around them.
Unrealistic hopes cause problems, too. Many parents are initially over-protective of their own child, or have expectations that no spouse can meet in the beginning.
Often new husbands and wives assume they’ll be loved and accepted by in-laws on the merit of having married the in-laws’ child. This may be the case, but it usually takes time to establish trust and respect. Just as it takes time to build other close relationships, gaining acceptance into a family doesn’t happen instantly.
After all, you’re stepping into a family with a long history of established bonds. Don’t be too hard on yourself and expect too much. If your relationship with your own parents is wonderful, the one with your mother- and father-in-law may never measure up. If your relationship with your parents isn’t good, you may be too needy and demanding in trying to make up for it.
Here are the main principles to remember:
- Learn to support your spouse without getting hooked into taking sides.
- Encourage your spouse to share his or her feelings directly with you.
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Show your spouse that he or she is number one in your eyes.
- Don’t take things too personally.
- Remember, building a relationship takes time.
- Forgive, forgive, forgive.
- Remember that you’re loving your spouse by honoring his or her parents.
Don’t miss Deitrick Haddon’s wife Dominique’s confession abut her in-laws:
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