It’s crazy how we can find ourselves in and out of so many different relationships without one that we can truly say, is the one that has brought true happiness. When I use the term relationship people immediately think of a love thing between a man and a woman but I am referring to all your relationships like family, friends, etc. Most people who have bad love relationships also suffer in other relationships. Many times parents who get divorce are not affective with having a healthy relationships with their children. I dare not tackle the entire reasoning for all of this but I did want to establish a few nuggets that I think are helpful in improving ones relationships. First and for most remember that you are the common denominator between all of your break ups and make ups good, bad, or in-different. The last person we want to blame for our bad relationships is ourselves but many times we are the reason things don’t work out.
So consider this, never enter a relationship expecting for someone to make you into something that you want to be, or give you something that you cannot or have not given yourself. Another person cannot give you the gift of laughter if you have no joy. Nor can they make you happy if you’re miserable in your soul and spirit, and they will never complete you if you are not already whole. It will never happen! Everything you want to be or desire in a relationship, you need to have it already inside of you and it needs to be a very real part of you, because you are only going to get from a relationship what you bring to it. Don’t make the mistake of looking for the other person to bring anything to the relationship to make you anything other than what you are. It is not their responsibility to complete you or for them to be your entertainment, or provider, or anything else you think you need for them to be or do for you.
In a relationship the only thing that everyone is responsible for is to be honest and truthful about who they are, what they can or cannot do, will or will not do, and for each one to say from the start if they feel ok with what is being brought to the table. Then you need to make an attempt to honor that and love each other with your best self, and if it ever comes to a place where what you are doing or giving is no longer your best, and you have no intention of doing it any better than what you are presently doing both of you may want to re-evaluate where you are and where you are going and note whether or not that situation is the best place for either of you. Relationships work when there is compatibility, honesty, and the ability to be transparent. Work on you always and your relationships will always work for you.