Part III of the Battle of the Sexes Series: A meeting of the mind
Several years ago, I thought about writing a book on How to Effectively Communicate with your Man. It seemed like every minister, talk show host, magazine etc. dealt with this particular issue. Of course I was very open to the topic, because at the time, I was having a very hard time effectively communicating with the man in my life. We were literally speaking two different languages and neither one of us felt the need to take the time to attempt to learn the other persons communication style. In order to move forward in the relationship, we decided to work on the way we communicated by acknowledging the problems in our individual communication skills
Below are 12 tidbits that I learned during my time of communication discovery. These tidbits come from various places, church messages, talk shows, magazine articles and of course my own personal experience. I don’t believe that all men are the same. But I do believe that they possess similar foundational characteristics that aid in the application of these tidbits.
Personally, I believe that majority of these skills could be used with a man or a woman. By no means do I claim to be a communications expert, but I have lived on both sides of the communication spectrum and there is nothing better than the effective communication side. I hope these help.
12 Ways to effectively communicate with your man:
- Speak in headlines– women are to detail oriented. Men really don’t care what you have to say. They love you, but they don’t want to hear every detail. Give them the short, short version- 10 seconds or less. Speak in headlines as if you were reading the headline in the newspaper to him. Then he will hear you. (Trust me on this one ladies)
- Know your man. You know your mans temperament, his likes and dislikes and you also know his pain points. You know how to love him and you know how to make him bleed. At all times, use wisdom and walk in love in every area. However when angry, be very careful in your decision to inflict pain. Men are much more sensitive than you think and if you draw blood too often you might eventually reach a point of no return.
- Set your expectations according to the type of person/personality that your man is. Don’t expect him to respond or be like someone else’s man. That might not be him. Don’t compare. Celebrate the man that he is.
- Know your man’s cycle. And act accordingly.
- Know when he is chatty
- Know when he needs to be left alone.
- Stop reacting to him. Stop responding to the foolishness. I heard Paula White say this a while ago and it is so true, speak to the King in him and not the foolish little boy that is acting out before you. When you respond to the foolishness, it gets everyone off focus.To me, this one is a universal truth for men and women. When dealing with a woman speak to the Queen in her and not the foolish little girl that is acting out before you. Bottom line: stay in control and take the high road. At all cost.
- Actions are speaking louder than words. I was once told I can’t hear what you are saying because your guns are blazing. Meaning, I could not be heard pass my attitude and my tone. He was so busy reacting to the attitude and tone in my voice, that he could not hear the words coming out of my mouth. Be sure when you are communicating in a fit of anger that your angry temperament is not drowning out your message.
- Love on him. Give him the attention that he craves. Trust me, it will be reciprocated.
- Be his best friend. No he is not your dog but he is YOUR man.
- Encourage him
- Motivate him
- Cheer him on
- Show off your man. Edification is the best encourager.
- Be a team player. A man is a visionary. Be the partner that he needs to fulfill his vision.
- Understand him and don’t take him for granted. We don’t realize what we have until it’s gone. Appreciate the person before you while you have the chance.
- Pray for him. Encourage him. If you don’t who will.
I was once told by a man that a woman has the power to teach a man how to treat her. Through her actions, she basically leaves a cookie crumb trail for him to follow. Take the time to teach your man how to love you by loving him. I believe if you sow love, you will reap love in return.
Next week, it’s the ladies turn. I hope these tidbits will help in all of your relationships.
Have a great week.
May God bless you!
Written by: Judi Mason for www.elev8.com
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